Since I last thought about this blog/could rationalise this kind of narcissism/thought I might actually achieve a remarkable weight loss goal in 2015, I could have accomplished a lot of other things, and I sort of did.
I got a job, made leaps and bounds in my level of music/creative writing output, and especially relevant to my weight loss, I stopped smoking pot.
Marijuana, for me, was a performance-enhancing drug in the sport of freestyle competitive eating; so freestyle there were no judges, no other competitors, and no score other than the staggering kilojoule tally across a vast array of discarded Nutrition Information panels on multiple blocks of chocolate, bags of Doritos, tubs of Coles Bakery biscuits… and whatever else I would eat on a bad day.
I knew all that was making me fat, and I believed everyone who told me it was very unhealthy. I didn't care, though; not at the time.
Not all days were bad days, and especially since parting ways with that sneaky mistress Mary, even when I autopilot my way home with cargo in excess of one kilogram of the finest chocolate my local supermarket has to offer, I find that I eat a reasonable serve for the adult human I am supposed to be, then offload the surplus onto people for whom diabetes, heart disease, and a dire need for reconstructive knee surgery are not immediate and real concerns.
Just over a year ago, mid-September 2014, a local doctor clocked me travelling in excess of 162kg.
For anyone who still uses Imperial units of measurement in daily life, congratulations on reading this internet blog from the early 1900's, and for those of you who are most familiar with pounds (lb) used as a measure of a person's weight because of television, I will provide this conversion I was given by demanding 'CONVERT 162 KG TO POUNDS' of the Google search bar.
Now, I don't know how tall Homer is supposed to be, because the Google search results I skim-read (with no scrolling) ranged from 5'9" to 6'. From memory, 6' is around 181cm, and I stand at around 6'3" or 191cm.
If you remember this episode with Homer wearing the muumuu, you may also recall his weight gain goal was 300lb. My point here is that despite my height advantage over Homer, at best/worst I achieved a comparable height/weight ratio yet looked nowhere near as suited to that level of obesity. I certainly never looked that happy about it - especially not while sober.
That time in my life, and a lot of the time since, is described in this video of Louis CK:
That was then. With nigh on three months left of 2015, and having hit 120kg in recent days and still going, I'm going to surge toward the end of this year and still hope to hit 100kg in 2015.
I don't understand psychology; in fact, I don't understand anything you have to study at school, or university - or hell, even on the internet - to learn properly. It's a miracle that I was even literate when I dropped out of high school.
I do know when I first made this blog at the beginning of 2014, it all sounded really good in my head, and people said lots of encouraging things, but then I had to not eat delicious food, all my favourite foods - buttered foods, fried foods, foods wrapped in pastry, various meats cooked in aggressively unhealthy ways and portioned like a Death Row prisoner's last meal.
Besides quitting weed, I stopped drinking alcohol and have been maintaining a vegetarian diet; it's easy enough for someone who isn't trying to train like a bodybuilder.
I just started swimming regularly for exercise, which is ultra convenient because you can exercise/relax/urinate all in the one place. I always found gym toilets to be kind of gross, and you risk being arrested if you are found urinating in a public park, so swimming pools really are a perfect tool for weight loss.
What I'm doing about my weight is nothing remarkable, interesting, or original. What I will be doing with this blog is posting videos like that Louis CK clip, pictures of Homer wearing a muumuu, and any other significant progress reports plus some photos from the past year, as I find them.
What I won't be doing is wasting both our time in telling you what I eat for every meal, nor pretending that I am awesome at nutrition. I'll stick with what I know, which is myself and what I'm doing about my weight loss/fitness, and passable writing.
Until next time, please remember the Nutrition Pyramid.
Bye everybody!
No comments:
Post a Comment